have you ever felt sad?

my parent's are divorcied, now before you scroll on i promise i will try to make this the least i-the-spoiled-sad-divorced-parent-kid entry i can. i was one of those (and still am) "o of course am fine with you leaving each other forever" kind of kid. i push back my emotion so far that almost at any given moment they just pore out when my head overflowed. like with movies when i am with people i always see comedys or action movies because those aren't crying type movies. like this one time i rented this really sad movie on new years because i was at my dad's house and he was working, so here i am alone crying no bawling at this movie finally i just turn it off. so there i am crying and how stupid i am for crying in the dark alone and can't stop. i mean even now just writing this i am tearing up.but anyways i vowed to stop crying end stay hard to every thing sad and look happy around people when i am not. just today my dad pointed out to me that when no one is talking to me i frown alot, but then when i told my friend that she was amased because at school i am usually look happy and is laughing. i guess i do a pretty good job with my disguise then beacuse usually when i am quiet i am either thinking about what people are saying around me because i am a very good listener or thinking in the back of my mind if i could have done something better or more to have them stay together. i mean they say there's nothing and then ask if i am alright and i say yes but that little voice in my head says no and some times i just want to poke that voice in head with a q-tip. i sorry see thats what imean of emotions all i wanted to say here is that i fell like my best friend,mydad,and i fell like were drifting apart and i go and tell you my whole (well not my whole)(and no i am not a mental case just because that is not all my problems even thought this one does seem pretty big)messed up side of me. well anyways sorry and thanks to those who chose to listen to me whine about my life.